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20 WTF eBay Listings That Beggar Belief

LOL October 24, 2016 By Hugo

The internet has always been a place for the weird and the extraordinary. On the one hand, some of the world's foremost companies have come about because of the internet, but for every one of those, many are truly bizarre. There are websites where people can rate their poo, for instance, or sell their underwear for thousands of dollars. But then again, not even they can compete with these insane eBay listings. 

Here, OMG Lane has scoured the web to find some of the funniest eBay listings ever to have been auctioned.


1. Prison Toilets 

Most are unlikely to be enamored with the prospect of owning a prison toilet. Sure, they may be formed from stainless-steel and have a two-in-one toilet and sink combo, but other than that there isn't too much else going for them. But try telling that to the people who buy them.


gcsurplus.ca

Believe it or not, prison toilets are a regular eBay listing and often attract bids of more than $300. Whether or not they'd add an ornateness to one's bathroom is anybody's guess (we doubt it) so we can only assume they're used for people obsessed with all things prison.


2. The Meaning Of Life

We can't imagine anyone has the answer to such an age-old question, but when you're trading on eBay, it seems users aren't afraid to offer their wisdom. 


ebay.com

But rather than share his esoteric knowledge the 'seller' from Boca Raton, Florida decided to auction off his answer to a question that has long puzzled academics.

Still, it appears many buyers weren't buying the authenticity of the Floridian's service, and the question was sold for a paltry $3.26. As for the question's content? We never found out, but we guess it read: Never purchase a service which claims to know the meaning of life.


3. Presidential Toilet Paper 

When a Russian cafe dedicated to all things Vladamir Putin opened, one of the first things media outlets reported on was the bathroom's bog roll. Offending many, the toilet roll had the face of the outgoing U.S. President Barack Obama emblazoned on the paper.


telegraph.co.uk

Since the report, eBay sellers have been quick to imitate the cafe's designs, with one 'Obama toilet roll' fetching upwards of $6. As for the whole set? Well, if you want to pay $43, one user is selling a combined Hilary, Donald and Barack set.


4. Unicorn Meat

Now this is rather odd- not that eBay is averse to being to home to such things. Indeed, one user, apparently blissfully ignorant to the non-existence of Unicorns, decided to sell the meat of the mythical animal online. However, the item comes with a catch- you can't eat it.

theawesomer.com

Nonetheless, the listing, whether it is a novelty item or not, is undeniable funny especially when part of the description reads, “No foolin’ – Unicorn meat is real! Excellent source of sparkles!” 

Better still, the seller, according to the feedback, always provides fantastic customer support.


5. Iceland

In recent years Iceland has seen a surge in tourism, but in the midst of its near-collapse in 2008, Iceland sank to an all-time low. In fact, during the 2008 crash, which saw nearly all its banks (the primary source of the nation's revenue) go under, the small island appeared to be a dead country walking. So what did one eBay user do? It put the country up for sale on eBay. 


blacktomato.com

In fact, bids reached $12m before the listing was taken down. Apparently, you can't sell a country online...


6. Fart Spray

Unless you're a kid with a penchant for making the class believe the teacher farted, we can't see what else would tempt people to part with their hard-earned cash for one of these smelly things.

sickchirpse.com

But if you're bored and easily amused then, by all means, purchase one. Priced moderately at around $5, one user has sold over 5,000 of them.


7. Britney Spears' Hair 

When Britney Spears went outside her house to get her hair cut, the opportunist hairdresser decided to make a quick buck by selling the chopped contents of it online. 


realhairstyles.com

Due to breaking eBay's selling guidelines, the hair was later removed, although bidding had reached $1,000. We dread to think what that person would have done with it....


8. Advertising Space On  A Person's Forehead

Many would argue that capitalism has put a price on everything and one such man who proved that was the walking commodity Andrew Fischer. Inspiring many to do the same, Fischer sold the space on his forehead to Snorestop for almost $40,000.


newsflicks.in

Since that mouthwatering sum was reported by the press, a whole new type of social advertising was spawned with one current listing asking for $30,000, claiming it would be a great investment because he travels across the country. "I do travel work to major metropolitan areas all over the United states," the item description reads,  "so it would be great advertising!!! Temporary tattoos 15,000 a month, can shave and do whole head for 30,000 per month." 


9. A Slice Of Mars 

Yes, a slice of the PLANET Mars, not the chocolate bar, was listed and then sold on eBay. The $450,000 starting price would- ourselves included- have raised a few eyebrows over the item's authenticity but that didn't stop someone buying it.


arizonaskiesmeteorites.com

In recent years the item's authenticity has been proven beyond doubt yet what makes the story even more extraordinary is the history of said meteorites being found and successfully identified. In fact, from the 61,000 meteorites that have been found, only 132 have been attributed to the Red Planet.


10. A Grilled Cheese Sandwich

Grilled cheese sandwiches are excellent- we're not disputing that. They're delicious and can make a torrid morning a great one with just one tasty bite. But after someone parted with $30,000 for one; we can't help but laugh. 


drcrime.wordpress.com

The reason behind the purchase wasn't the sandwich, however, not that is wasn't nice. It was probably very nice, but it also happened to be emblazoned with an image of The Virgin Mary. Originally listed for an audacious $999,999,00, the winning bid of $30,000 was still a great investment for somebody whose toaster happened to turn into an artist. 


11. A Bar Of Soap

Out of all the places in the world to buy a bar of soap, the last place most people would look is eBay. Yet for some strange reason (a recurring theme in this article, do doubt) people buy soap on the website, and most interestingly of all, some of them are used.


thedappersociety.files.wordpress.com

While it may sound absurd, one was once sold for as little as $0.6 which for a cautious consumer, is likely a dream. Still, health should never come in the way of finance, and if you're willing to make an effort to pay as little as possible for second-hand soap, then you're probably someone who also re-heats the same meal for two weeks in a row. Not that we're judging second-hand soap lovers...


12. Someone's Virginity 

After Catarina Migliorini, a student from Brazil, auctioned and then sold her virginity to a Japanese man for $780,000, many others followed suit and eBay are now flooded with users asking for money in exchange for their virginities. Migliorini, who put her v-number up for auction after agreeing to take part in an Australian documentary, believed the documentary would be a good way of highlighting what they money could do for her family and local area. 


myvirginityforsale.files.wordpress.com

However, there have since been claims, made from Catarina herself, that the Japanese man refused to pay although the makers of the documentary dispute that and have said they have the recording to prove otherwise.


13. An Unfaithful Wife

After Paul Osborn had discovered the extent of his wife's philandering ways, one of the first things he did was put her up for sale on eBay. Shockingly, the bidding eventually reached $916,000 before the listing was removed. 


spinping.com

Accompanying an unflattering picture of his wife picking her nose, the caption read, ‘Here is my lying, cheating, adulterous whore of a wife of 26 years.’ Heartbreak turned you cold, Paul...


14. A Haunted Doll 

People will sometimes believe anything and never has that been more proven than on eBay. Another funny example of this was a 'haunted doll' which sold for $132.


ebay.co.uk

And while the item probably insulted most people's intelligence it still attracted bids, many of whom were no doubt drawn to the doll's actions. Describing what it had put the child through, the seller explained that it ‘scratched their son’s face in his sleep’ and had given him ‘bruised legs.'

Today, there are hundreds of listings for haunted dolls, proving that the human race still has a long way to go before we can take each other seriously. 


15. A Grandmother

We've had an unfaithful wife, a Scandinavian country and even a haunted doll and now we have a 10-year-old girl who put her GRANDMOTHER up for sale. But before we take the moral high ground we'll admit it: grandparents can be annoying. They don't do much and are often grumpy and impatient. But this grandmother doesn't even seem that bad.


sheknows.com

The listing, which reached $24,000 before it was taken down, described the 'item' as  ‘annoying and moaning a lot’, but her redeeming features meant that ‘she could be very cuddly and loves word searches.' 


16. A Weekend Away With Four Australian Men

Australians are renowned across the world for being privy to a party, which may have been the thought process behind four Australian men who auctioned their company on eBay. Billed as "some beers, some snags, some good conversation and a hell of a lot of laughs," the winning bidder would seemingly be assured of a good time. 


resources2.news.com.au

The winning bid came to $920, with a spokesperson for eBay describing the auction as "a bit out of the ordinary."


17. A Haunted Duck

It seems eBay has become home for those believing they possess haunted toys, but there are also many buyers who somehow get a kick out of these 'haunted' items. On this occasion,  the item was a rubber duck that supposedly caused the child to act 'possessed' when around the toy. The parents even sought the intervention of the family Pastor before deciding there was only one other alternative: to sell it on eBay.


reddit.com

Yes, instead of throwing it in the pond or burning it, the couple decided to cash in on it. Describing their reasons behind the sale in an item bio that topped 1,000 words, part of it read, "I can't explain what happened, and the sooner I can put the events of that night and this duck behind me, the better off I'll be.I will not be responsible for the duck after shipping, I will not field questions or help to explain its unusual mystique. I want nothing to do with it. The winning bidder must understand this."

Oddly, even after the demonic deeds were detailed, the duck sold for $107.57. 


18. The Shooting Window From Where JFK Was Assassinated

There's no doubting the political significance that came from the fatal shooting of the U.S. President John F. Kennedy but few would have imagined that the window ledge from where Lee Harvey Oswald fired the deadly shot would be sold online. 


mediad.publicbroadcasting.net

Indeed, it was the winning bid, rather than the item itself, which made headlines around the world after it sold for a whopping $3.7m. 


19. A Dorito Shaped In The Mould of The Pope's Hat 

Another piece of religious paraphernalia on this list comes in the form of a Dorito supposedly shaped like the Pope's hat. Astonishingly- or perhaps unsurprisingly in the world of eBay- the winning bid came to $1,209.


popehatchip.com

It would later transpire that the winning bidder was the casino giant Goldenpalace.com, the same company who purchased the Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich. 


20. A Cornflake

Bearing a similar shape to the American state of Illinois, one patriotic eBayer decided to take their patriotism to another level by purchasing the cornflake for an eye-watering $1, 350. 


youtube.com

The item, which was sold by two sisters from Virginia, sent the prized cornflake to a Texan in charge of a trivia website which collects Americana items. Quite how they sent such a fragile remains to be known, and it could well be possible that they requested the cornflake receive it's own plane seat. It sounds ridiculous, but then again, wasn't this article?


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