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15 Amazingly Witty Tweets That Prove Ryan Reynolds is Twitter's King

Celebs April 6, 2017 By Hugo

Ryan Reynolds is one helluva guy, and if you don't agree with us, then you aren't worthy of reading this post. He's easily the funniest A-list actor working in Hollywood, and as well as being married to the gorgeous Blake Lively and killing it in Deadpool, the handsome stud is also the King of Twitter.

 


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To prove this, we've compiled 15 tweets that best display the Canadian's twisted sense of humor. 


1. Ryan believes Los Angeles' love affair with health and nutrition has spawned a city of wusses

America's second city has a reputation for its passionate interest in all things healthy which is great considering many parts of the country are plagued with high levels of obesity.


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That said, there's also millions of vain people in Tinseltown, and as such, at least in Ryan's opinion, it seems to have made for a city for full of narcissistic wusses.


2. He also thinks his wife is responsible for most of his lurid fanmail 

Ryan is a hunk with millions of fans across the world so it's understandable that his fans can't help but let their emotions get the better of them when they meet him in person or even just write to him.

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However, according to Ryan, when asked by one Twitter user what his wife thinks of all his female attention, he believes she's responsible for most of it.


3. The actor believes the difficulties endured in parenting will be worth it... when he dies

This dude doesn't hold but when it comes to displaying his twisted humor and the Twitter-meister was at it once again when he seemingly consoled himself on Twitter concerning the hardships of parenting.


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But it was okay once he told himself that his little daughter would one day have to bury him. Swings and roundabouts, right?


4. Ryan finally understands what 'fly fishing' really means

Cute Little Ryan appeared to have a different understanding of fly fishing and probably scared everyone into a cave until they were mentally ready to crawl back out and continue their lives.

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Fortunately for most, he now understands the true meaning of fly fishing. Better late than never, Ryan! 


5. Ryan admits how out of touch he is with the single life

A happily married father of two, Ryan Reynolds has long given up the bachelor life, and it seems even dating apps have him confused.


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Yes, Ryan, Tinder is primarily for one night stands with Crystal and Janine, not so you can enlist their babysitting services.


6. Ryan remembers his days without a child

Mr. Reynolds was a handsome bachelor not too long ago, and he was probably waking up every morning with many beautiful women by his side. But not anymore.


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Nowadays, he probably wakes up to screaming babies and the smelly reality of nappy changes. 


7. Ryan Reynolds toys with the idea of leaving his family for an extended break

Just when you thought the affable actor couldn't tweet anything more shocking, he goes and tweets this!


twitter.com/vancityrecords

Oh, Ryan! There's a lot of malleable people out there, so don't go giving them any ideas, now! 


8. Ryan's romantic gestures are certainly outside the box

Ever the chivalrous gentleman, Ryan can't help but disapprove of sexually explicit material infecting the phone screens of sensitive young women. 


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So what's the solution, and the best way to a girl's heart, Reynolds? It's simple. Send a bouquet of penises instead.


9. Again, Ryan thinks twice about his decision to become a father

Even A-list actors flying in private jets suffer from unruly, screaming children and have no choice but to read them a book to quell their tantrums.


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Though it seems Ryan has read enough children's books by now to know the underlying message in all of them; you should have gotten a vasectomy.


10. Saying a famous advertising slogan out loud doesn't seem to have the desired effect... Not even if you're Ryan Reynolds 

Everyone likes a bit of KFC once in a while, but it seems Ryan takes his love for the Kentucky fast food chain to a whole new level.


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But even Ryan Reynolds can't quite get away with boldly declaring his love for their delicious food in public.


11. Ryan tweets some uncomfortable home truths

Human's morbid fascination with death won't ever abate, because, let's face it: we are all going to die and eventually be forgotten and that scares us shitless. But Reynolds doesn't need us to tell him that.


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In fact, the dark humor of the Deadpool star was on full display when he replied to a tweet asking how many Ryan Reynolds are needed to change a lightbulb.


12. He has a point....

Ryan Reynolds hasn't been afraid to admit his love for the Nicholas Spark film, The Notebook, and if you haven't seen his hilarious re-enactment of the famous rain scene with Conan O'Brien, we seriously suggest you do, and he's also tweeted about the famous film.

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Taking umbrage with the phrase, 'pissing rain', Ryan makes a valid point about it ruining movies involving loads of kissing in the rain. In other words, every Nicholas Sparks movie.


13. Ryan's parenting job has already been done- at least for 6 years

Poor old, Ryan! He seems to find parenting challenging, but then again, he also appears to suggest he's mastered the gig as well.

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In one tweet, he can't help but feel overwhelming pride that his baby smiled at him on Father's Day, leading to Ryan taking a much-needed hiatus from his hectic fatherly duties to write a book on parenting.


14. Ryan Reynolds defends his Zayn Malik obsession

When Zayn Malik was supposed to perform his debut single, Pillowtalk on Britain's Graham Norton Show before he pulled out, a show Reynolds was also booked for, he was totally peeved at not being able to meet his idol. 

But his obsession with the heartthrob dates back to July 2015.

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It sounds like you're 'obsessed to us', dude! 


15. Ryan Reynolds responds to a fan's request for a signed penis in the best possible way

Saving the best til last, the Hollywood actor won Twitter when he came up with a rather convenient excuse for not having to carry out such an intimate request. 


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Lesson learned from Ryan's tweet: Telling a fan you have to cater to your grandmother's diabetes medication is just as successful as telling your boss at work you can't come in because you have chronic diarrhea.


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